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Love Tips - Love Articles -
www.datingmagic.net
Ten
Commandments of Keeping Love Alive
- When dating - Always share positive feelings. One can
never hear enough of them;
- Never share negative feelings unless there
is a specific constructive purpose to it (resolving an issue before it
gets out of hand, expressing concern over a fixable issue, etc. etc.).
Negative feelings, when
dating,expressed just to get something off the chest, to make
a minor point, to lash out, to put down, to get your way, or to make an
issue of something which cannot be changed, can only have a negative
effect on the relationship. Nothing positive will ever come out of any
of it, save a fleeting feeling of satisfaction from spitting it all
out;
- Make each other feel like a priority,
especially when you are unable to treat your partner as such. In other
words, at times when it isn't possible to treat your lover as a priority
due to extenuating circumstances, at least take a few moments (doesn't
take a lot) to share the situation with them, and reaffirm your
feelings;
- Never let the sun go down without resolving
anger or doing a daily mental check-up. Put yourself in your lover's
shoes and see how you would feel receiving what you gave to them (good
or bad) each day;
- Once is an error, twice carelessness, more
than that a habit. If you're doing something which your lover has
serious, justifiable objections to, nip it before it is perceived as a
habit. Some behaviors are very hard to change, undoing the hurt to a
cherished lover harder still. I'm not suggesting you modify your
personality to accommodate your partner, just behaviors which are
justifiably intolerable;
- If a situation calls for a compromise and
you're willing to make it, do it sooner than later. Treat it like a job
interview where you're willing to meet your future boss half-way or
agree to productive changes in your modus operandi. Don't let your
relationship reach that hopeless stage where you feel there are no
solutions. If you're going to do it, do it early on to show your
commitment, versus waiting until the last minute when feelings have died
and motivation and longevity have come under question. There truly is a
critical period for everything. Wait too long and you risk your lover
hitting the ‘too little too late' stage;
- Always keep the passion alive. Remember it
was the two of you who made it happen in the first place, without
outside help, therefore the two of you can keep it going forever. That
special magic is one of the few things which is completely under your
control – a level playing field which cannot be taken away unless you
decide to willingly let go of it. Don't ever fall into the dull, blasé,
can't-be-bothered-to-try approach once you know you've won your lover's
heart. If anything, the two of you falling in love should merely mark a
beginning – a beginning which paves the way to beautiful things, since
you will no longer have to waste your energy over draining insecurities
or worries around whether or not you'll be loved back;
- When you talk to your partner, really
listen. They need to know that of all the billions of people out there
you are the one who is most interested in what they have to say. I'm not
talking faking here. I'd sooner you fake an orgasm than your interest in
the love of your life. Genuine is the key here;
- Make sure your checks and balances are
squared away as far as giving and expectations are concerned. If not,
sooner or later the overdrafts will ruin your credibility rating. A
partner who repeatedly gives, receives little in return, even in the
form of appreciation, will end up saying "the heck with it" or pulling
away from the whole thing, feeling that they'll never be good enough and
that their partner is best off without them;
- Nurture each other and the relationship
regularly. Meals, jobs, great backyards, good kids, hygiene, grooming
don't just happen by themselves. Why should relationships? Ditch the
misconception that beautiful relationships just happen and last forever
effortlessly. Sound like a chore? Don't let it. Change your perspective
and make it your hobby. Nothing will be quite as enjoyable. A garden
tended to as a hobby is always more delightful than one created out of
tough chores and obligations.
Rebecca Rosenblat (aka Dr. Date), sex therapist/advice
columnist/published author is Toronto's hottest offering to the
relationship and sexuality scene. Known for her to-the-point teaching and
entertaining delivery, Rebecca gives her audiences what they crave,
through her books, seminars, interviews, and advice
columns. http://www.drdating.com/
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